Funny Sayings About Tomorrow Will Be a Better Day

Nosotros all need a good laugh to become through our mean solar day, and this list of funny quotes will surely go you on your feet, clutching your belly with laughter!

They say that laughter is the all-time medicine. This is specially true when yous're feeling downward and unmotivated.

And so, if you lot know anyone who's struggling and needs condolement, make sure yous do your part as their friend or family unit fellow member and send them some funny quotes and texts that will brand their solar day a tad brighter!

Information technology may be difficult to of a sudden think of funny lines to transport to your loved ones. So, if you or anybody you know needs some hilarious lines, then this list is perfect for you lot!

Cheque out the consummate list beneath.

And make sure to read these smile quotes and encouraging quotes.

Best Funny Quotes

one. "I prefer not to think before speaking. I like existence every bit surprised every bit everyone else by what comes out of my mouth." – Anonymous

two. "Sometimes, you lot lie in bed at night and you don't accept a single matter to worry about. That ever worries me!" – Charlie Brown

3. "Trying is the kickoff step toward failure." – The Simpsons

4. "When your mother asks, 'Do y'all want a piece of advice?' Information technology is a mere formality. Information technology doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." – Erma Bombeck

five. "When life gives you lemons, eject someone in the eye." – Cathy Guisewite

6. "Never follow anyone else'due south path—unless yous're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. So, by all means, follow that path." – Ellen DeGeneres

vii. "Why do they call it rush hour when null moves?" – Robin Williams

viii. "Common sense is similar deodorant. The people who need it most never use information technology." – Bearding

9. "The surreptitious of staying immature is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie most your age." – Lucille Brawl

10. "You know y'all've reached middle age when you lot're cautioned to slow downward by your doc, instead of by the police." – Joan Rivers

11. "I think it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don't really recall yesterday all that well." – Finding Dory

12. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people announced bright until y'all hear them speak." – Alan Dundes

thirteen. "Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese." – Luis Buñuel

14. "There is ane word that describes people that don't similar me: irrelevant." – Anonymous

15. "My advice to you is get married—if yous find a good married woman, you'll be happy; if non, you'll become a philosopher." – Socrates

Famous Funny Quotes

sixteen. "Before y'all marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow net to see who they really are." – Will Ferrell

17. "I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and nosotros're skeptical." – Arthur C. Clarke

18. "Truth hurts. Maybe not every bit much every bit jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts." – Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear

19. "I never experience more alone than when I'1000 trying to put sunscreen on my back." – Jimmy Kimmel

20. "I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance—waiting for the bath." – Bob Hope

21. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." – Albert Einstein

22. "To telephone call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!" – A Fish Called Wanda

23. "There's zero simpler than fugitive people you don't similar. Avoiding i's friends, that's the existent test." – Downton Abbey

24. "I similar my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet." – Sex and the Metropolis

25. "War is God'southward way of pedagogy Americans geography." – Ambrose Pierce

Short Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

26. "Woke up today. It was terrible." – Grumpy Cat

27. "A day without sunshine is like, y'all know, night." – Steve Martin

28. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." – The Office

29. "The only affair that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize." – Steel Magnolias

thirty. "When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was merely sick." – George Burns

31. "I am simply human, although I regret it." – Mark Twain

32. "I used to sell piece of furniture for a living. The problem was, information technology was my own." – Les Dawson

33. "If I'm not back in v minutes, only look longer." – Ace Ventura

34. "Never exercise anything out of hunger. Not fifty-fifty eating." – True Detective

35. "Life is hard. After all, it kills you lot." – Katharine Hepburn

As well read: Brusque Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Amusing Funny Quotes to Make Light of Life's Hard Times

36. "My mother e'er used to say, 'The older yous get, the amend you lot get, unless you're a banana.'" – Betty White

37. "When you're in love, information technology's the nigh glorious two and a half days of your life." – Richard Lewis

38. "Life begins at 40 – but so exercise fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times." – Helen Rowland

39. "Anyone who lives inside their ways suffers from a lack of imagination." – Oscar Wilde

40. "As you become older, three things happen. The offset is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." – Sir Norman Wisdom

41. "A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never exist attracted by a bargain." – Graham Norton

42. "Money cannot buy health, just I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair." – Dorothy Parker

43. "I accept a lot of growing upwardly to do. I realized that the other day within my fort." – Zach Galifianakis

44. "I'yard at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out." – Bearding

45. "I believe that if life gives you lot lemons, you should make lemonade, and endeavour to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party." – Ron White

Funny Quotes to Remind Y'all of Your Family Matters

46. "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." – Arsenic and Old Lace

47. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. And then I want to motility in with them."

48. "Fatherhood is great because you lot tin ruin someone from scratch." – Jon Stewart

49. "Every bit a child, my family unit's menu consisted of two choices: take it or go out information technology." – Buddy Hackett

fifty. "Insanity is hereditary; you go information technology from your children." – Sam Levenson

51. "Being a mom ways never buying the correct amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week's worth are eaten in i afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas." – Lessons from the Minivan

52. "Skillful parenting means investing in your child'southward future, which is why I am saving to purchase mine a hoverboard someday." – Lin-Manuel Miranda

53. "I'd like to have a kid, but I'm not sure I'grand ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are." – Damien Fahey

54. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, shut-knit family in another metropolis." – George Burns

55. "Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard." – Margaret Culkin Banning

Interesting and Funny Quotes for Work

56. "I'm ill of following my dreams, man. I'g just going to ask where they're going and hook upward with 'em later." – Mitch Hedberg

57. "I always arrive late at the office, just I make upwardly for it past leaving early." – Charles Lamb

58. "Hither's some advice: at a job interview, tell them yous're willing to give 110%. Unless the job is a statistician." – Adam Gropman

59. "My therapist says I'm agape of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would really cutting into my sitting around time." – Maria Bamford

60. "I don't desire to achieve immortality through my piece of work. I want to reach it through not dying." – Woody Allen

Funny Quotes for Your Next Gathering

61. "Ane tequila, ii tequila, three tequila, floor." – George Carlin

62. "I'm not good at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" – Friends

63. "Why can't you just exist happy for me and so go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?" – Bridesmaids

64. "If y'all want to expect thin, hang out with fat people." – Back to Schoolhouse

65. "I beverage to make other people more than interesting." – Ernest Hemingway

66. "When I'm in social situations, I e'er hold onto my glass. Information technology makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don't accept to shake hands." – Curb Your Enthusiasm

67. "Why yes, I can carry on a chat fabricated up entirely of movie quotes." – Anonymous

68. "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." – Noel Coward

69. "If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better." – Gilbert Gottfried

lxx. "Vino is constant proof that God loves the states and loves to see usa happy." – Benjamin Franklin

Funny Quotes That Volition Make Your Twenty-four hours Brighter

71. "Whoever said money can't purchase happiness didn't know where to shop." – Gertrude Stein

72. "At that place is no sunrise then beautiful that information technology is worth waking me up to see it." – Mindy Kaling

73. "I'thou ane stomach flu abroad from my goal weight." – The Devil Wears Prada

74. "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact usa." – Neb Waterson

75. "Cognition is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." – Miles Kington

Extremely Funny Quotes for Anyone Who Needs an Free energy Boost

76. "Accept who you are. Unless yous're a serial killer." – Ellen DeGeneres

77. "The word 'abbreviation' sure is long for what information technology ways." – Zach Galifianakis

78. "My ability to plough expert news into anxiety is rivaled simply by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne." – Bossypants

79. "Information technology is a scientific fact that your body will non absorb cholesterol if you accept information technology from another person'due south plate." – Dave Barry

80. "My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine." – Caroline Rhea

81. "A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to besides many optimists." – Don Marquis

82. "A bank is a place that will lend yous money if you can prove that you don't need it." – Bob Hope

83. "Anybody has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television." – David Letterman

84. "All the things I really like to practise are either immoral, illegal, or fattening." – Alexander Woollcott

85. "Everything is funny, as long equally it's happening to somebody else." – Will Rogers

Funny Quotes to Fill Your Day With Positivity

86. "Before you criticize someone, yous should walk a mile in their shoes. That manner when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you take their shoes." – Jack Handey

87. "I never forget a face—merely in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception." – Groucho Marx

88. "Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If yous don't like the gustatory modality, only add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes." – Anonymous

89. "I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

ninety. "Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man—at that place's your diamond in the rough." – Larry David

Funny Quotes for Men and Women

91. "My hubby and I fell in honey at beginning sight. Maybe I should have taken a 2nd expect." – Crimes and Misdemeanors

92. "Halloween is the first of the vacation shopping flavour. That'southward for women. The outset of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve." – David Letterman

93. "I haven't spoken to my married woman in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." – Rodney Dangerfield

94. "I honey being married. It'south then great to find that ane special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." – Rita Rudner

95. "Here'due south all y'all take to know most men and women—women are crazy, men are stupid. And the master reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." – George Carlin

96. "Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke automobile. You tin't practise it in i push; you got to rock it dorsum and forth a few times, and and so it goes over." – Jerry Seinfeld

97. "Wedlock is the only war in which you lot sleep with the enemy." – François de La Rochefoucauld

98. "Women cannot mutter most men anymore until they start getting better gustation in them." – Bill Maher

99. "Marriage is a wonderful institution, merely who would want to alive in an institution?" – H.Fifty. Menken

100. "A human being in honey is incomplete until he has married. Then he'south finished." – Zsa Zsa Gabor

More than Funny Quotes to Make You lot Giggle

101. "By the fourth dimension yous're 80 years old yous've learned everything. You but have to remember it." – George Burns

102. "Y'all can't believe everything yous hear—merely you tin repeat it." – Anonymous

103. "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." – Phyllis Diller

104. "Never uncertainty the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible." – Doug Larson

105. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." – Anonymous

106. "Everyone with telekinetic powers, raise my paw." – Emo Philips

107. "When in doubt, look intelligent." – Garrison Keillor

108. "It's e'er darkest before dawn. And then if you're going to steal your neighbor's paper, that's the time to do it." – Navjot Singh Sidhu

109. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." – Jim Carrey

110. "Men cannot live by bread solitary; he must take peanut butter." – James A. Garfield

Did the Quotes in This Collection Bring Near Some Sunshine to Your Day?

Nosotros're constantly bombarded with negative news from social media, our friends, and our families during these difficult times. That's why laughter is essential to stay sane and calm despite the negative energy surrounding you.

It might be difficult to remain optimistic, but remember that laughter will always be the best medicine. Funny lines and jokes can get a long way to continue the body and mind healthy and happy. And, with a healthy and bright mindset, it'll be easier for you lot to deal with whatever curveball life throws at you.

Recall that with this list of funny quotes, information technology'southward within your power to send something blithesome to family and friends who need a reminder of happy times ahead. With that, nosotros promise the collection was able to light upward your twenty-four hours and the day of someone important to you!

Did any of the quotes above capture your interest? Which quotes made you laugh out loud? Delight, list them downwards below!

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Source: https://www.quoteambition.com/funny-quotes/